Posts Tagged ‘death’

Life Is A Sexually Transmitted Disease With The Fatality Rate Of 100%

November 20th, 2009

death rides a red tricycle Life Is A Sexually Transmitted Disease With The Fatality Rate Of 100%

What do you think your birth certificate is? It’s an apology letter to your parents from the condom factory…

Today while waiting in the Doctors lounge with my little bro as we prepared to get out post-travel checkups, everything seemed to go well at first, I was amusing myself with the other patients by asking them if they found the idea of the whole place being called a Medical PRACTISE a bit unsettling when you’d imagine they’d already have practised enough at Medical School, needles to say I think I was the life of the “sick party”, but on our way to the Doctors office I looked outside the window, and what I saw was a luxurious car that had a bumper sticker which read “Death is Hereditary”, “Can it be my doctors car?” I asked myself, and if so, “should I leave my brothers and my own life in this genetically pessimistic conformist of an individual?” I’m known for my personal distrust with Doctors and medicines so I think the face I had throughout the whole consult speaks for itself…

Why is there such a fear of death?
» Read more: Life Is A Sexually Transmitted Disease With The Fatality Rate Of 100%

“SIN” Stands for: Self Imposed Nonsense

July 2nd, 2009

tunnel to hell SIN Stands for: Self Imposed Nonsense

What do you think Hell is like?

The Devils Welcome

Imagine walking through clouds of smoke to arrive at these rusty old gates, at the top in letters of nail scratches of desperation, it reads: “Leave all hope behind, ye who enter” (in five thousand languages), instead of feeling fear you feel relieved, “hope only gave me a moral responsibility…without hope I have no duties to fulfill my future dreams and therefore no work and nothing to be gained from this experience other than personal amusement…and if I gain nothing I can only loose what my sinful soul brings”.
As you hesitantly enter through the squeaking gates, you look down to the ground to see if it really is true what they say about Hell being paved with good intentions but all you see is pee and poo from the shock of the nervous newcomers who came before you…trying to avoid stepping on the filth you notice Brussel Sprouts growing in between, “so this is where they grow…no wonder they taste so bad!” you think out loud.Slowly approaching the light at the end of the tunnel-like cavern, your body is taken over by this uncontrollably catchy rhythm you soon realize is ‘The Macarena’ being looped over and over again eternally.

» Read more: “SIN” Stands for: Self Imposed Nonsense

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