…For I think anger must be a coward way of expressing sadness if it chooses the easier option of yelling and violence than being brave enough to admit it’s hurt and in pain.
Tuesday morning, as I walked down the many aisles of my local grocery store, I saw something that caught my attention in the health and personal hygiene section, it appeared to be a mum and her teenage daughter having one of those feared adolescent moments as they stood in front of the monthly Easter Uterus Bunny visits shelf, it was awkwardly cute I’ll admit and caught my curiosity to how those unique family moments are experienced, the mother seemed rather conservative as she dressed in these old fashioned long sleeved clothes even though it was boiling outside, she wore this golden cross that hang well centered on her chest (you know, cause I bet that’s the first thing Jesus wants to see when he ‘returns’ to Earth…”Daddy Daddy, I don’t want to go back, look at what they all carry around their necks! =S”, it’s as if you go up to John Lennon’s window Yoko Ono and tell her, “Yoko!, see this pin on my jacket of a revolver *smile*, I carry it in Johhny’s honor”, I bet she’d be thrilled…), she laughed a little as the daughter kept looking down and blushing, then suddenly the daughter reaches up to grab a colorful packet and before her hand managed to grasp it, an abrupt outburst of voices in Italian was heard throughout the shop followed by the lady throwing a packet of pads to her daughter as it bounced off her shoulder and onto the floor close to my feet, my Italian isn’t great at all but with my Spanish I managed to understand a few things like “absorvente interno” and “diavolo”, from the whole situation I came to the conclusion she was saying something along the lines of…”TAMPONS ARE THE DEVILS WORK!!!”, but of course I always understand things the way I’d find them more amusing :S.
How can this happen though, how can we go from being happy and calm to angry and full of rage in the blink of an eye?
Lets Suppress And Not Express!
There are two types of angry people in the world, explosive and implosive.Explosive are the ones you see yelling at the supermarket cashier worker cause they won’t accept their coupon, Implosive are the cashiers who put up with it in silence day after day till one morning they decide to shoot everyone in the store with a shotgun.Most of us are the cashier…
If you’ve ever stopped to listen to Italians, Spaniards or other loud mouthed language people having a conversation it will sound to you like they are having an argument…that’s because most of the time we are.The inspiration for this article came from the absurd sight I saw a couple days ago passing outside of the the cinema and witnessing this huge line of teenagers, post adolescents and even older mothers waiting to watch the new sequel of the highly anticipated vampire movie Twilight, they all were screaming, crying and I’m pretty sure there was someone on the floor who had fainted…it reminded me of the groupies back in the days of Elvis (the first and “King” of outlets the world was looking for…in a time so suppressed where shaking your leg to much was seen as filthy), The Beatles and Backstreet Boys we’ve all seen on tv, or even the crazy celebrity and musicians fans you see now standing in lines for days to see a concert or get a glimpse of their idol.
I never understood why exactly this happened, though I have asked myself the question many times, even more so in the pass few years as I gained popularity in my cyber life and started receiving all types of disturbing pictures, love poems and even gifts to my house from people I had never spoken to and who don’t know anything about me…it confused me because I’ve never seen such things happen before in the cultures I’ve grown up in, how does anyone have emotional outbursts of hysteria like this where they worship complete strangers who they feel have “touched” them in some way?
Then I came to the conclusion that it had to be the culture, the English speaking more precisely, because along with the Japanese (again…known for their crazy hysterical groupies) they are very emotionally controlled cultures where showing glimpses of negative emotion is seen as impolite, I saw on the news a soldier returning from war getting emotional when he saw his wife and new born baby and when becoming aware of the camera, he started apologizing for crying and drying up his tears.English was made to be a polite, serious culture, it is reflected everywhere you look…the greatest literature in English like Shakespeare, Edgar Allan Poe, Hemingway are usually sad, dark or depressing, even music wise…Rock N Roll could have never been born in a Latin country because it is many times an angry, violent genre and in Latin American speaking countries they are use to expressing their emotions regularly, they scream at each other, they dance to happy rhythmic music and they cry when they feel like it (how often do you hear in the world news of shooting sprees at schools/work in South America compared to the U.S?), even men cry and it is seen as perfectly acceptable, the concept of groupies didn’t exist in these countries till they were Americanized, before that they just had admiration and respect for their favorite public figures but that was it.
Emotional Outlets, Celebrities, Sports & Food
With that theory I came to the conclusion that celebrity hysteria was a bottled up emotional outlet with all the female’s emotions coming out at once, I say female because it’s rare to see a male groupie and if there are, they’re usually effeminate males who don’t like sports, why not sports? Because Sports are the male emotional repressed outlets…have you seen how passionate we get watching sports? how they yell at the referee, cheer on their favorite players and cry when they lose? this behavior seemed totally irrational to me, how sports fans reflect the glory and result of the team they support on themselves as if they had had something to do with the outcome…they don’t even touch the ball! When I played soccer for my team I could see how barbaric it all felt, half the stadium celebrated and rejoiced over the other half’s misery, humiliation and despair.
Sitting as I watch people eat at a restaurant or fast food place I can see the anger they are trying to control, how they crush and triturate the food so violently as if it were the enemy with their teeth and fingers…in the same way our ancestors used their teeth, incisors and nails to defend themselves, or watching people smoke cigarettes sucking on them as if they were adult pacifiers to control themselves from exploding, you can also see the repressed anger in sex…how they swear, make angry faces and violent movements in those intimate moments, when I was little I’d always wonder “Why is the hero of the movie trying to pelvically squash that poor naked lady? I thought he was the good guy =S”.
Women suffer more from repressed emotions than men, we vent our anger through sports, doing rough activities, being pigs/insensitive with action/horror movies or violent video games and having bigger and louder personalities, women are taught to be feminin and control themselves, which is probably why they cry a lot more often and fall in love easier than men as the emotions have to surface out somehow, in the 1960′s when the perfect stepford wives were around, the alcoholism rate went up 40% as the housewives secretly began drinking to release all that emotion they had stored up.
That might also be why women enjoy dancing more than men (though at concerts everyone seems to jump around like venting kangaroos equally), it’s a catharsis for them yet we are taught to control those emotions and only bring them out in specific places…you rarely see someone dancing on the street from happiness now do you?, we all know the type of people who go out clubbing to blow off a whole weeks worth of steam and emotions in a single night…the same way the emotionally psychotic ones that end up being serial killers or mass murdering their family are usually described by the neighbors as the “quiet ones”, it’s probably why I feel so uncomfortable in clubs, for me it’s like being locked up in a dark cage full of alcoholic (as they say, to “It loosens me up” those suppressed emotions) and emotionally repressed lions trying to Rawrr those feelings out desperately one way or another…the anger there is also contagious from the few experiences I’ve had, like the couple of girls who asked me if I’d like to dance and myself replying in the angriest mockery sense of humor there is…sarcasm, “Hell yeah!…I’m standing in the darkest part of the room with the table closest to the exit because I’m getting ready to Booogie the night away!, sorry, as many latin dancing skills I may have inherited, I’m deaf on one foot tonight and will end up dancing in circles like a dizzy duck”.
“What Are You Depressing?”
That’s the question a good psychiatrist should ask you if you tell them your depressed, because as they all know…depression is repressed anger, so in other words, “What anger are you repressing?”, any person who has suffered from clinical depression when coming out of it will go through a period of “hot anger”, it’s the sign that shrinks look for to know they’re getting better…that your not imploding and sorrowful anymore but exploding and letting the anger come out.
There’s two main sections in our brain, the conscious and the unconscious part, the unconscious part is where all our basic emotions are stored and it is from there that they appear, the conscious area are the actions and thoughts we can control such as the logical patterns ect…, emotions like falling in love come from the unconscious part where we can’t control who we fall for (hence the term “fall” as in…lose control of your rational logical conscious mind and fall into an illogical emotional deep unconscious well), the polar opposites of love such as anger, fear and hate also come from that area, when you get angry you become overwhelmed with this sensation of blood boiling, teeth grinding (again…the same as the angry crushing food eaters), fist clenching blind madness that you just want to get rid of that feeling however you can…the trick is to get your conscious side of the brain aware of the unconscious side, thats why in anger management they give them these rubber bands to put around their wrists so whenever they feel angry they should stretch it out and let go to get the conscious side thinking about the pain in their wrist and temporarily forget about the unconscious side.
You can’t become conscious of being angrily unconscious, it’s impossible, once you become aware that your angry then your back in control of your emotions and can reason with them, you can tell yourself to wait 12 hours to react and think about something that has made you angry instead of blindly saying or doing something by impulsive anger, have you ever tried it? it’s a funny feeling because when you go up to the person that made you angry 12 hours later and look at them in the face, it’s rather difficult to get that impulsive anger adrenalin rolling again and you realize how silly your reaction could have been…which means anger is a temporary unconscious outburst thats manageable, even stuff like sex have the same outlines, you get the sudden uncontrollable urge to hump the first thing with two legs that moves (at least us virginials), but once you become conscious of your unconscious libido and distract your mind by doing some other activity, the sensation disappears…it’s temporary, just like anger (don’t confuse anger with resentment though, that one stays).
The biggest mistake we all make is answer anger with anger, when someone gets angry with us we usually get angry back at them, how could this be possible of having these bipolar mood swings in a matter of seconds? it’s sure evidence that we all have repressed anger and we wait for the right moments to release it without concern if the anger even comes from that situation, like parents who smack their kids when they do something naughty, it’s scientifically proven smacking the kid won’t improve the childs behavior…if they did something bad it was either unconsciously by impulse (the same way the parent is smacking with outbursts of unconscious anger…yet nobody smacks the parent) or they did it accidentally from lack of environmental awareness (but smacking them isn’t going to magically give them extra peripheral vision), so whats really the point? it’s an anger release excuse for the parent and a way to get the kid started early on with his own repressed anger.
Anger to me is just like vomit, they are both disgusting unconscious things your body wants to get rid of, you don’t keep eating what made you vomit so why do you bottle up what made you angry? when you want to vomit you run to the toilet or go somewhere secluded…you don’t vomit on top of someone else, so why do you take out your anger on other people? And we all know, when we see someone vomiting we get nauseas too in the same way when we see someone angry we get angry as well.
The funny thing of anger is as soon as you feed it, it dies…it is starving it what makes it fat, feed that anger by channeling it and transforming it into something positive so you don’t continue the vicious circle of taking out anger on someone so they take it out on another person, idolizing people, torturing your food, smoking or living towards weekends…grab that anger and blow off some steam by going for a run around the block, punch your stuffed toys hahah, have a cold shower, spontaneously break out dancing anywhere, scream your lungs out into pillow and you’ll feel fresh and unloaded after you do…just like you do after vomiting =P.
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